deus ex machina

you frustrate me the wrong way
and you frustrate me all the way
where have all the sense gone to
how did you find everything out
how was i when i was sane
how was i to know i was
you judge me and you judge not
your fingers got tangled
here between my thoughts
between the line that
oh so delicately separate us
stand me up behind your thoughts
i don't have the strength
to fight for myself
hold up my hand for me
i wanna touch your face
where are my eyes when i want to see
where am i when i had wanted to be
what is a brain but a mush
when goosebumps are only scalpdeep
what makes sense when i don't want to
what are knees solely for
if not to kneel
what are skies for
if not to look up to
and the sun but to blind
and to blur everything after
in that white hot light at the center
and the center is me not you

me and who

i turned my eyes away
towards the flies
that went with the time
thinking back about things
and narrowing claustrophobically
to the little time we spent

you and me
and me and you
that was all i had
now there's you and me
and me
and you and her
remember when you said
we could die
just holding hands
that was when i had ran away
i wish we had just died then

i miss your hand
and she doesn't
she might as well die holding it
i feel so lousy i wanna run away
and i want to hold your hand
but i can't now
i'd be holding hers if i try to

i turned away towards the sky
and thought of something else
your hand slapping her
her hand (being) amputated
and lots of other dirty hands
one rocking a cradle
tossing out the baby

it just isn't sane now
i miss you and you don't
i just have to keep turning away now
til i feel your hand in mine again